So Much Trouble In The World

Lately it seems like just about everyone I know is having a really hard time. Tuesday, my good friend Phyllis began chemo to slow the spread of her terminal lung cancer. Our friends N & T's teenagers have suffered from serious depression, and one is currently in treatment. My friend J is about to run out of his unemployment insurance -- with no job in sight. My friend S’s husband is recovering from major surgery, and now very painful complications have emerged which could threaten his life. My mother has suddenly become adamant about not taking medication -- even though to not take it could lead to sudden diabetic coma, stroke or heart attack. Our neighbors this week returned suddenly from Bhutan, because their elderly mother died. Everywhere I look, people are suffering. They are meeting real obstacles, and they are doing so with grace and determination. In all these different forms and flavors, these are all vivid manifestations of suffering. 

This suffering is not exactly news to anyone. I guess what matters is not the idea of suffering. Nor do ideas about remedies to suffering help. When we are in the throes of real troubles, the best we can do is to really and fully experience it, to the best of our ability. Our theories and ideas simply don't amount to much. Ideas aren't sufficient to the enormity. The situations people face can be so wrenching, so absolutely horrendous. Usually, much as we wish to help, we can’t change what’s happening to our friends. We can’t even slightly shift the conditions that they face. That’s not possible. Maybe we can do a tiny errand for them. Maybe we can sit with them. Or we can listen. That's about it. And it surprises me that this seems valuable to them, often very much so. But of course when I'm hurting, that's what matters most to me: someone to listen and abide with me.